Raising a Confident Child

Raising a Confident Child in this Challenging Age of Anxiety and Depression

Raising a confident child is substantially a matter of serious concern in this challenging age of anxiety and depression. 

Before understanding confidence, we should first know about what is not confidence.

Let’s define confidence by evaluating certain features.

What is not confidence?

Confidence is neither boldness nor the opposite state of shyness. Shyness is a natural tendency that is present not only in human beings but also in birds, and animals. Shyness is a matter of state; it is the amalgam of resultant condition and body language. Humility is also not opposed to confidence rather humility and confidence can co-exist, they are not separate.

What is confidence?

You consider yourself important for a direct and better reason. If the bases of considering oneself important are not valid, then prejudice develops.

If you don’t think yourself important it generates self-denial, self-condemnation, and self-negation.

The right person is confident and humble. The best outcome of confidence is that you are not easily impressed by others and do not try to impress others. Your mind and heart are free of others’ social status. You can be grateful, you can love .you can give value to others.

To consider oneself important without considering others unimportant. One is not dominated by others.

Why we should nurture confidence. Important Parenting Tips to Raise Children Successfully In 2022?

People know the importance of confidence but do not know the reasons for its importance. A few people can give convincing rationale, they cannot produce a logical or academic justification to nurture confidence.

There are two main reasons and there’s again a connected reason.

Firstly, to develop our innate potential to get benefitted from them.

Secondly, we should stand at the ultimate level of commitment. We can fulfill all the demands of being associated with our truth. This reveals our character. To face resistance in the way of personal truth is the power to resist and not surrender. We can only fulfill our commitment with our truth. Lack of confidence leads us to character crises. It can destroy our creative potential.

The third ultimately connected with the above two reasons is the creation of self-directed, self-responsible, and self-disciplined individuals.

The greater strength of your child is that he is confident. Ranks, grades, and positions cannot compete with the quality of confidence. In this rapidly changing social environs, future economic challenges, future identity crisis, future political landscape, future clash of civilizations, value crisis ———– confidence is the best qualification to address the above issues in this fast-changing world.

3 C’s to focus upon

Confidence

Character

Creative potential

Confidence is the name of believing in oneself. To believe in yourself and to believe in Supreme Power are directly proportional. As the belief in Allah Almighty grows, belief in yourself grows equally.

How does confidence develop and how does it shatter?

What are the observable indicators?

Every child is born with confidence. It is an innate talent. This is technically wrong to say that you are trying to develop confidence. It is naturally developed; it is innate grain. Lack of confidence does not mean that confidence doesn’t exist rather it means that confidence is destroyed badly.

The mechanism to develop could not blossom naturally.  It literally means that the wild and antagonistic environs shattered the sprout of the flower of confidence.  The issue is highly sensitive. It has been the problem of human society for centuries. The sense of self-worth is a natural and innate substance or potential. This natural spark and tendency should grow naturally. We should protect the child’s sense of self-respect. We do not give unconditional respect to a child’s sense of self-worth.

There are 5 factors that influence a child’s self-confidence.

We should avoid those factors that spoil the child’s self-worth. A child achieves the level of maturity gradually. We should focus on the factors that spoil or destroy this process of development.

The first reason that spoils confidence is humiliation or disrespect. Our religion teaches us the value of protecting this as the top priority. Unconditional respect develops the personality of your child. If we behave recklessly in this regard, confidence is not nurtured and it initiates a chain reaction in human society. Chaos develops in the whole society.

We should give unconditional respect. Children should not earn respect. They should have it naturally from elders or other members of society. The availability of respect for them should not be conditional. Relationship building is crucial.

secondly, Character means you are not scared of anyone else except Allah, the disease of people’s consciousness is existing. The sense of accountability before Supreme Power defines confidence in the best way.  Fear from others other than Allah and a sense of accountability cannot exist together. Both can not grow together. The prerequisite of confidence is to eliminate fear other than Allah.  Fear and forceful execution are futile even if you are successful in achieving your objective. Our education system does not produce such a character.

3rd reason that causes the elimination of confidence is embarrassing a child.

Fourthly, we praise unduly. difference between modern, western psychology disciplines. appreciation produces temporary confidence because the reason behind is weak. This type of confidence shatters in the absence of praise. West says, prays for your child often. a major part of parenting depends upon appreciation.  We think such confidence that is produced as a result of praise is completely void. It rather destroys confidence.

fifthly, experiences of failure are more than experiences of success or achievement. Intent and effort are superior to outcome in the views of a mentor, but when we do not value process, intent, and attempt, we are not doing our job satisfactorily. a child feels himself failed; his sense of self-worth doesn’t develop.

Resultantly, naturally blossomed confidence shatters bitterly.

How can we protect the confidentiality of our children?

Purposeful education is the real solution. The realization of meaningful individuality is the key to regenerating the shattered confidence. one can build up from scratch. This relates to the state of faith.

21 Indicators of Confidence

1. A happy child is a confident child

2. I will do it by myself

3. Passion for doing something

4. Self-centered

5. He trusts others but does not blindly

6. He cares for his dear ones

7. He doesn’t change his decision without any logic

8. Questions about the contemporary trends

9. He doesn’t  quit his queries easily

10. He is not dependent upon praise

11. He is not impressed easily by others

12.  He possesses resilience

13.  Sense of self-worth

14. He can leave his right to others

15. He helps the weakened

16. Criticism does not shatter him

17.  He does not allow others to exploit him

18. He can make sacrifices for others

19. He does not feel solitary or helpless

20. He can forgive and ask for forgiveness

21. Self- awareness, the ability to make reasonable choices

In essence,  we, as parents need to learn in serious terms. We shouldn’t hesitate to seek guidance from a mentor. Every specialist knows about his field of study well. For further guidance, you can go through the series of blogs, I have written on this topic.